He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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