I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
