God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
