He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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