I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
