I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
jump out the window naked night went bad
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
