Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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