Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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