All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
