Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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