Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
