...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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