I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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