I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Bring me that man meat
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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