I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
