i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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