3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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