it was like his penis was on wheels.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
