There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We're too hungover to prance.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
