Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We don't watch enough power rangers
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
