I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
