all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
