This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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