so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
