It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
