I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
