Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
