i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Randomize
