I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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