By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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