summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize