a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
