yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
