so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
