i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
