fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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