she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
