Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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