my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
