I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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