He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
