people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
