I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I am one with the molecules
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
