Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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