he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
