Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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