You smell like a Billy Joel song
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
