is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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