The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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