I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
love makes seman taste better
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
